Me - July 2013 -

In May of 2012, I wrote a little essay, entitled "Who am I, May 2012".
I currently felt the need to revisit that self-examination having had evolved quite substantially in the past year.

I remember being a little girl, vacillating between wanting to be a stay-at-home mom, and also wanting to be a physician. When I escaped through my reading into the James Harriott novels; I longed to be a country vet.
No matter the profession I desired to have; one goal has maintained a constant: I want to help others.
The past few years, I gave of myself to many. I have rarely been selfish with cash or anything else. But I have longed to serve in a deeper way.

I attempted to serve my fellow human by being active in political causes. Frankly, when I-502 passed, it took the wind out of my activism sails. Although I was happy that I was able to personally register a few voters, the spirit of contention that is present in so many in the activism paradigm brings the phrase "pathologically anti-authoritarian" to mind.

That is not me. I follow the rules. To the letter of the law. Always have tried, always will. I feel awful when I don't. It took me literally being knocked on my behind to remember who I was.

When I remembered who I was: A grandma of three, a mom of three, a woman who values her fellow human being (especially the children) and more than that; values God beyond anything else in this world or the next, it became imperative that I explore my relationship with my Heavenly Father. To this end, I prayed and asked how to become closer to my Heavenly Father, and my Savior Jesus Christ.

This spring I was baptized after a personal revelation lead me to The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints.
So, now, when I look at myself and who I am; I include the fact that I am a Latter-Day Saint. But I also maintain many of the goals and ideals that I did before my religious conversion.

I do not believe in judging other people.
I believe in doing everything within my power to help my fellow man. We are our brother's keepers. We are not in this life alone. I will always give the shirt off my back (don't worry, I have a habit of wearing several layers ;) ) for the shivering homeless person. That is who I am.

I have been in a situation where I thought I had it all: The house, two jobs, three kids and a husband.
I have been homeless without anything, temporally. I have been closer to God when I was living out of my car at a Montana rest area for eight days. God sent me my "lightehouses" that eventually were to lead me to the "ultimate lightehouse": Jesus Christ. The Light and the Life. My Savior.

God showed me the way home. I am looking forward to the rest of my journey. I have more than half of my life ahead of me. It is bound to be an incredible journey.

My current interests still include independent sustainable permaculture. Organic food production and alternative holistic medicine as well.  I long to build Lightehouse living areas throughout the world. Hemp based & holistic permaculture. I am still interested in helping others step away from the prescription drug paradigm. As I further my own rehabilitation, I am continuing to write about the holistic changes I am making in my life and I am sharing the results in an attempt to help others.


I am still actively in the process of rehabilitating my own body and mind. My physical and mental health are gaining as much of a testimony as my spiritual health has. I am actively involved in helping my body catch up with the energy that my brain has felt during the time of my conversion.

I am enjoying getting to know new friends, but the words of a  Girl Scout song rings in my ears:

Make new friends,
but keep the old.
One is silver,
the other is gold.

A circle is round,
it has no end.
That's how long,
I will be your friend.

For those wonderful friends who have been there for me; through whatever decisions I have made, without judging, even when it was hard not to: I love you with all my heart and soul. You are forever part of my "intentional family."

For my blood family; those who have experienced the worse brunt of my sinful actions throughout my life, to them I continue to ask their forgiveness. I am so sorry it took me so long to remember the mom and grandma that I long to be.

For those who are just getting to know me, you know a person who has lived many lives. Feel free to ask me anything. I am anything but shy. But my heart is tender. It's been broken.
My Wonderful and Forgiving Heavenly Father currently holds it in his loving hands.

May the Heavenly Love and White Lighte of the Holy Spirit embrace all of you.

A Peek into My Spiritual Journey

This is about me. Well, many things I write, and have written, have been about me. About my journey though this life. This is probably the most intimate glimpse I have ever given anyone.

I am giving it to anyone who wants to know.

For those who want to know why, Margaret Ellen Slighte, came to the decision to embrace The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints as her "church home."

I'm forty six years old.

I have tasted of any sin I may have desired, and many I never thought I could even stomach.

I am done. Done with sin. Done with living in any manner that is disrespectful to myself, my relationship with Jesus Christ, or that of God, the Creator.

I desire to begin to live in a righteous manner. In a manner which is respectful of the relationship of my soul with the Godhead. With Christ, God, and the Holy Spirit, which I pray that I will be able to acknowledge how each have touched my life in every moment.

When do I remember my relationship with God, and Christ, beginning? What is my first "spiritual memory?" (What is YOURS? What do YOU remember?)

When I lived in Shelton (the first time), after my parent's divorce, my mother sent me to Sunday School against my father's wishes (he was an atheist, a LOUD one). I believe I was six or seven years old. I feel I was about six when this happened.

During one of the Sunday School lessons, we were singing the song "This Little Light of Mine" ( LIGHTE :) ) and I immediately felt a warm sunny feeling, but much brighter, around my "soul". It was my first conscious feeling of having a "soul". I knew there was a Christ. I also knew there were two other separate energies I felt: One of God, the Creator as well as The Holy Spirit.

I have always known that we were all connected. I have always known that "good" or "holy" deeds brought more reward to my soul, than did "selfish" or "hedonistic" deeds.

During these nearly four years since the explosive destruction of my family, and my marriage on Father's Day 2009, I continued my disastrous and self-destructive behavior in a manner that was not only disrespectful to myself, it was also extremely public.

I have had times that the Lord has given me a glimpse of His comfort and glory. My travels across the country have been blessed with not only support of my friends, but also my Savior. My prayers have not gone unanswered. I have been given many gifts. I received them not with the grace I could, and should have.

Having displayed my sins so publicly, and with less than shameful appearances; I prayed whether, as part of my transformation, I should let go of any public exposure (social media). My prayers were answered that my contrition and apologies; my guilt and repentance be as public as I was with my sinful behavior.
Once my period of contrition is over, I will pray and re-evaluate which sites and accounts to retain, and which to discontinue.

When I speak of my sins, one of my most public and my latest, was that of adultery.

I learned the hard way that there is an adversary.

Evil has worked it's way into my family since I was a very small child.

I have had agents of evil, and when I say evil, I mean the darkest of the dark, at work within my family for generations.

From the time my father's father submitted to the demons that haunted him, and ended his own life; our family has been haunted by evil.

My own father committed suicide around my birthday in 1999, 15 years after I last saw him. The abuse I sustained at his hands, as a small child can only be termed as evil. Then, as a young teenager, he made certain he instilled his lack of morality into my ideas. His constant guidance was down the wrong path. When I was becoming a mother, I KNEW I needed to distance myself from him.  I knew enough to keep my children from that piece of evil in my life. Unfortunately, I did not give them the gift of a righteous home to be raised in. For this I am very sorry.

In the last year, I discovered that the adversary will tempt us with that which we THINK we desire the most when we are at our lowest.

My teenage nephew committed suicide last summer, shortly thereafter I again went astray from a righteous path. I sought love and comfort from the evil that danced in front of me and begged me to join it.

I was to receive what I thought I desired, and instead of joy and elation that would be with truth and love, I felt instead the true stink and disgust of the sin, as a layer of scum, upon my soul.

Hedonism: self-love. I believe that we are divine. In the way that our Creator would not create anything LESS than divine. How I have treated myself and others around me has been so much less than divine.

The commandments are CLEAR, however, thou shall not worship anyone or anything except the one TRUE God. It may feel good for a little while, but the scum upon my soul is deep now.
I am in need of a baptism, a TRUE baptism and to exercise my own agency to choose righteous behavior which is respectful of myself and my relationship with Christ, and His Father, our Creator 

Throughout my life, whatever evils that I endured, and enjoyed; I KNEW right from wrong. 
I felt shame and disgust at some of my own behavior. What I DIDN'T understand, was how to change. I didn't respect myself enough, I didn't honor that I was a daughter of God.
Most of my life I allowed myself to be used in any way that the males around me desired to use me. I was disposable, right? WRONG.
I am a daughter of God. I deserve to begin to honor that.

My daughter, and my sons and my granddaughters and grandson deserve to be honored by me being a person who respects herself and who does her best to be righteous and respectful of our Father in Heaven.

I will continue to grow, and to learn, on my spiritual journey. I will expand and expound upon this, my journal of my relationship with my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.

I invite anyone interested to do as I did, and look up the Book of Mormon, another Testament of Jesus Christ. It's online. Read it. Pray. Decide for yourself. I did.

If you want to know more about MY journey to embracing my love of Christ and the change of my religious views, I invite you to come read my other blog: Slightely Mormon What can I say, everything I do, I do "Slightely" :)

Love and Lighte

(this blog entry was copied to SlightelyMormon.blogspot.com when that blog was created)